心文
kokoro bun
< heart writing >
"perhaps not me you think of...
a mirror and a projection,
framed by my avatar...
no that is too harsh and not entirely true...
there will be a strong dose of true energy exchange"
四月 団
shi-gatsu donguri
It’s your vision.
It’s your ability to focus, to harness quite a specific aesthetic and energy, and to create with that, to bring it into the world to share with others. Without it becoming too complicated and derailing. Not only with one item but through a series. Your energy. Your avatar, your profile picture, your art, the 3D and the 2D photos.
I saw this with AprilAcorns cherry blossom project. To drink it. To love it. To live it. To breathe it. To become it and it becomes a part of you because you always already were it. You are it. You speak for that vibe and it flows through you.
I was trained from birth to do this, to be aware of it, so it comes as second nature. The process of processing art into the world, the becoming.
I must tell you of the dream, the dream of drinking cherry blossom.
I travelled the labyrinth to its centre. She was there. Her energy overwhelmed me. The intensity of it. The brightness. When we first met AprilAcorn was surrounded by rainbows and in focus. The layout of that place. It was a labyrinth of purest simplicity and zen harmony. Because ultimately it needs be easy for people to access and navigate. To understand it. She has that in her art although it’s difficult to recognise this thing because the idea of the actual artworks are what is seen objectively, more so than all the arrangements involved in bringing the through. That itself is the art, the art which artists know, the higher awareness of the doing of it. Not the imagery but the energy which is a portal into a specific world, which the artist has insight into through feeling and is able to conjure into form.
This is the magic.
I have seen the work of so many artists, so many artists work. Travelling the labyrinth. I travelled Europe and beyond to galleries and museums without number. I saw architecture and gardens, designs and ruins of those from times so ancient. I absorbed the energy of such places. In doing so became aware how much effort has gone into creation and constructions the world over. In all of that so very few of the artists had become the thing itself. The gate which bridges worlds. The voice for the unseen of the imagination. Not the imagination of fluffy clouds but the imagination of seeing what is there already and the blissful obligation of having to show other people. We sacrifice ourselves to be able to do that and in doing so we find ourselves.
People don’t understand it. Some but not all artists understand it. Musicians, writers, blacksmiths, sculptors, writers, potters, poets, weavers, all the forms it can take in creating the world we share with others. It’s not about the objects we show people.
It’s about the voice which breathes the breathe of life, inhales through the same portal as is used to communicate. With artists that is done through the heart and through the minds eye, through the hands and through the eyes. The body and its senses are the portal. We give ourselves over to that because to not do so, well to not do so is death without dying. Death would be a release from suffering the tension of needing to make by shaping ourselves to allow it to breathe through us.
When I met her I felt her, I felt this energy. Being near her opened it up in me she is so strong with it. I know it because I am this way myself. I meet so few others who are, and who use it the way I know how to use it. She was clean in her energy and she cleansed me by mere proximity to her. As she channeled the flow it attracted me to her wake of it.
These lengthy words are an attempt to say it, to share how it is. The living energy of being and of being a certain way, the how of being.
She was the breathe. She breathed life into me. Of course I fell in love. It’s the same love all artists know when they are souls dedicated with passion to art. Priestesses who channel the goddess energy have to put up with that from time to time.
Artists through the centuries talk about the gods or goddesses of art flowing through us. Configurations of quantum and galactic alignments creating the things which are meant to be created using humans as the tools to bring it through. Artists are merely the paintbrush. Something from beyond us is creator.
Having studied art and artists all my life I have studied this. I saw it in her that day. When she reached out and gave me some time I felt it again. She told me I project at her and what I like about her is her avatar, the visual image she projects.
I felt a need to express it so she would know more truly. These are the words which came. I got to know her by learning everything I could about her. I was afraid the intensity of a stranger saying such things would frighten her away, the opposite of holding her in awe for her being the way she is. I had hoped she would see my intention is, as an artist, as a soul, dedication to pursuing understanding of the energy of creativity. It's healing and inventive forms. That she would understand it also being as she is conduit for it.
She is right. I don’t know her. I know about her what I have felt myself about her. I know her situation. I know her art and her vision. I know how to understand her the way artists need to be understood. Perhaps in this there could be friendship, community.
I have no expectancy she will want to know me. Perhaps a mild curiosity to find out what she is dealing with. Nothing threatening and nothing serious. A fan. By the way rock stars and artists have fans. For what she did to me. She reached out to the community by displaying her art and she touched me to the core of myself. If ever she needs to know she has a purpose in life, this counts toward that. She touched me genuinely. In a world of fake people mistaking the fake everything for themselves and echoing each others fakeness she actually got through to me in a deeper way than almost everyone else else I ever met.
I don’t know what to do about that either so there is no expectancy she would know what to do about that either. It simply just is what it is. I would like to thank her. I cried because the intensity of it which her lightness and gentleness helped me through and perhaps it was that lightness and gentleness which made me cry. She put me right where I needed to be put right. She did this without intending to or probably imagining she ever would affect someone this way. But she has.
Some time went on and distractions took over my life but I thought of her sometimes.
She contacted me and all this has come back. Her words to tell me I mistake her for who I need her to be. Perhaps she is right. I have to accept it and contemplate about it. But I know who she is to me. How she affected me, I know that’s a real thing for me.
So I do what a good soul does.
I try not to bother her. I admire her from a distance. I respect her with a passion. I will help her in any way I ever can.
Is loving her real even when she says it’s not her I love? Why would she say that? As a test? Because she is right? These feelings are real for me. Even if she rejects that.
We live in a world where we are encouraged to love objects and robots as if they’re alive. The spirit of Shinto, of animism, that everything is alive with soul, rocks and the wind, the river and the thousand things.
I prayed tonight in a shinto shrine of Okuninushi-no-mikoto at
Akado- Melodic One, A Love Project (15, 138, 2501) - Moderate
And then soon as she could, she contacted me.
Since last time I prayed to Lakshmi and then I found her making her art, increasingly I believe in the deities who affect our lives more than ever. That’s twice she has crossed my path now and each time was after I prayed. There is meaning in this.
I have the faith to recognise on the line between purity and madness, what I am experiencing is significant and it is not madness. She has this power. The best I can do is to support it and respect it. Which is simple enough. For my heart is in it.
Jishu Love Fortune-Telling Stone 1:
Collect your thoughts and once ready make a silent pray/wish
考えをまとめて、準備ができたら心の中で願いを込めてください。
Close your eyes and try to touch the second stone! It's vital to keep your eyes closed!
目を閉じて、二番目の石に触れてみてください！目を閉じることが重要です
Jishu Love Fortune-Telling Stone 2:
You managed to successfully touch the second Love Fortune-Telling stone without any problems,
the particular love interest you just wished for will also go smoothly.
あなたは問題なく二番目の恋占いの石に触れることができました、そのためあなたが願った特定の恋の興味もスムーズに進むでしょう。
Take this bracelet, and wear it as a keepsake, to help you find your true love!
May Okuninushi-no-mikoto keep smiling on you!
このブレスレットを受け取って、真実の愛を見つけるための記念品として身につけてください！大国主命があなたにいつも微笑んでくれますように
"thanks for thinking of me"
"I think of you"
"perhaps not me you think of...
a mirror and a projection,
framed by my avatar...
no that is too harsh and not entirely true...
there will be a strong dose of true energy exchange"
四月 団
shi-gatsu donguri
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